Failed

Well, we waited until the kiddos woke up from their naps today and attempted to take all the finished paper work to the adoption agency today. Failed. They were closed already. But, it provided Jaden and I a bit of a chance to chat with the kids quiet in the back seat, since they seem to be anything BUT quiet at home lately! :) Anyway, that's ok. Tomorrow, I will call our social worker first and find out how we go about scheduling our first visit for the home study! All in due time, right?!

Merry Christmas

  Wow! What a fun past couple of days. Yesterday morning, we were hit with some unexpected snow and cold temps. We thought we might not make it 'home' to Milwaukee after all. So, we went food shopping -- that always helps the blues, right?! Well, I got enough food to make two dinners. Then, we decided to try out the freeway one more time on our way home - sure enough, it was clear! So, we ran home, packed and left. We stopped in Delafield to have coffee with some great friends. It was super to visit with them. Wish it could have lasted longer!! Then, off we went to Jaden's sister's house. We ate delicious food, watched the kids open presents, opened our presents, talked, laughed... It was super! My kids were up super late, but had a BLAST hanging out with their cousins.
   We came home this afternoon and had our own - just the 4 of us - Christmas. I made a ham dinner and we ate lots and played with our new toys and watched a little Polar Express. It was super. Now, the kids are tucked in bed and I'm looking forward to (after we are both done on our computers) a little down time with the hubby before it's back to the grind tomorrow. :)
   On Thursday, we got the best Christmas Present I could hope for this year... We got a grant from Lutheran Social Services. They have the one grant you can apply for without first having had completed your home study. So, we applied and dropped our application off the first week of Dec. The paper work said they would be reviewed the last week of Dec. but they had mentioned, during our adoption classes, that they thought they were already reviewed and wouldn't be reviewed again until March. So, I thought we had a long wait for us to find out if we'd get a grant. Well, we got a letter on Thursday afternoon saying that we received one!! Between the grant money and money we've saved - we are READY to begin our homestudy (well, after Jaden turns in the remainder of his paperwork that is). Pretty cool!! So, Sunday and Monday will be spent finishing up the last of the paperwork and turning it in. Tuesday, I will call our adoption counselor and set up the beginnings of the next step!! Awesome! Truly awesome!!! I can't tell you how excited we are for this!!
   God's Blessings to you all. Merry Christmas to all and to all a GOOD NIGHT!!!

I'll Be Home For Christmas...

   Well, the weather looks good. It looks like we'll be headed 'home' for Christmas (Milwaukee). We are heading out tomorrow and coming home the following day. It should be fun. Jaden and I are both really looking forward to being around family on this holiday.
   Next Christmas, we for sure will not be headed out of town. Christmas Day is on a Sunday, and we will have church, so there will be no way. Also, I am hoping we have our new little one - so we will need to make it a quiet time around here. We learned, in our adoption classes, that these kids, no matter their age, come to you grieving. It makes sense, really. When you think about it, the orphanage is really the only home they've ever known! They've had a large variety of ladies taking care of them and trying to meet their needs. They are losing that to a brand new, totally unfamiliar world and they will never see that old world again. Even though we say 'Thank God for that,' this little one doesn't understand that. He/she is losing everything they've ever known. It's sad immediately, but in the long run, we all know that the life we are able to give this child is better than a life in an orphanage or worse, in Africa. :( Anyway, when you take the baby from the orphanage, this will probably most likely be the baby's first time in a car. Most get real, real sick since they are not used to it. Also, since there has been no ONE person (or TWO) meeting the needs of this child, they are lost. They don't know what to do or who to turn to next! We received tons of advice from multiple sources that for months, Jaden and I must be the only people to hold, feed, change, bathe, etc. our child. I know some of you are going to be hurt by this (not being allowed to hold your niece/nephew/grandchild/best friend's new baby is going to hurt). I know. But, it is the way it has to be until we are certain that our child is completely, 100% attached to us. Because in the long run, believe me, you want that child to be more attached to us than you. They say, when you walk away from your child and try to leave him/her with someone else and the child starts to cry, you know you are starting to be successful with having a securely attached child. Totally opposite of what we want to see from our biological children! :) And, they brought up in our classes, that our child will have never received a present, seen Christmas lights, been to Target or a grocery store... EVERYTHING is going to be new. Even his/her parents for a long time. So, we are going to need to take some time, as a family, to get to know each other and form close, almost over the top attachments with our child before we allow visitors or take any trips.
     I may be wishful thinking, but I'm really feeling like, maybe around Christmas next year (shortly before or shortly after) is when we will be traveling to Ethiopia and picking up our baby. I hope it's before, but we'll see!!! Anyway, I'm thinking of how different it will be next year, and while it may be difficult to not be around extended family at Christmas, it will be the best for our child and us and it will be for an excellent reason. And as soon as that child is extra attached to us, we'll have lots and lots of visits to make up for. :)

And THAT is Why I'll Never Teach Preschool

   We had Drew's 3-year-old Christmas Concert tonight. Watching those cute little 3 year olds lifting up their dresses, jump around, pick their noses, throw their jingle bells - I was reminded why I never chose to get certified in early education! Nope! I'll take a classroom full of 2nd-5th graders any day - but don't give me preschoolers! :) Super cute. It was a fun night and Drew actually needed less reminders about his behavior than I expected! :)
Here are some pictures of tonight's festivities!

Hmmmm

I realized that I haven't posted in a while and don't have much to say.

We just finished up with our small group from church and I WILL say that we have THE BEST small group. It is super how much we can share in life together. I love it. When people miss a week - they are so truly missed by the other members and it just makes me giddy how much I love my small group. It's awesome!

Other than that, not much to report. A bit bogged down by the holiday stress -- presents, wrapping, money, uncertainty of if we will make it through the snow to Milwaukee or not... blah blah but it will be a wonderful holiday either way, so... Don't worry about it, right?

We are getting close to paying for and thus moving forward with our home study. This makes me super excited because, well, it's a HUGE step. And, then we can apply for (and hopefully receive) grant money. That will be really exciting. Plus, that's like getting through the first tri-mester of pregnancy. Some of you aren't going to enjoy these comparisons, but I do. :) So, there you go -- those of you who have had a biological child and adopted -- did you find lots of parallels between pregnancy and adoption?

I Got A Pay Check!

Yep, got a pay check! Adding some money to the adoption account!!! Whew! Nice to see that number increase!

Also, we got our Christmas Pictures! Must share...

Slowly but Surely...

   We finished day two of our adoption classes yesterday. Day two was not nearly as fun - especially without the two adorable visitors! But it was still so awesome to keep dreaming and learning about our future child. I can't wait to begin our home study. It's such a neat experience and such a privilege to be asked to do it. :)

   Today is a snow day. I'm getting caught up from being gone in classes all day the past two days. I really don't know how full-time working moms do it!! I sure couldn't! Plus, I missed the kids lots. So, today has been full of cleaning, laundry, and dancing with the kids. :) I'm grateful for a day at home with my kiddos! Oh oh - by the way - time to pull out another baby gate!! This girl is crawling up the stairs!! Yikes!

One PIP Class In

  Today was a wonderful day. We had our first PIP (Parents in Process) Class to learn all about adoption. It was really neat to spend the full day with 2 other couples who are in the process of adopting. One other couple was adoption from Ethiopia as well and the other from Russia. They had a guest speaker come in who has adopted NINE children from Ethiopia!! Yep - NINE!! She brought two of them in - 3 year old girls... Can I say I totally fell in love with them. Oh boy!!! They were adorable and soooo sweet!!! And gorgeous. I can't even tell you how much my heart broke watching those girls. I just CAN'T WAIT to meet our little baby!!! :)
  Also, one of the couples there told me about this organization that helps families fundraise for adoption travel expenses... They sell coffee for $12.95 per bag plus $5.00 shipping (for one or two bags) and then, you get $5.00 per bag to help with adoption costs!! What an awesome idea. We just ordered our first two bags! Here is the link to our ordering site. I know a lot of you who read our blog are BIG coffee drinkers, so feel free to order away!! :) We appreciate it! Every little bit helps so much - especially with the two trips to Ethiopia.
http://www.justlovecoffee.com/TheThomas

Blown Away

We continue to be blown away by the encouragement and support of people we know. Every day we receive an encouraging phone call or email from a friend or relative telling us how awesome it is that we are adopting a baby. Two friends from high school that I haven't talked to in a long time (and have connected with via facebook) have donated money through our 'Chip-In' site. Many people have ordered Tastefully Simple products to help with our first fundraiser. Last week, at church, a member of Watermarx walked up to Jaden and gave him cash toward the adoption. I had a former student (who would now be a 7th, 8th, or 9th grader) send me cash, anonymously, in the mail. Two friends of our who are both awesome photographers with their own businesses are setting up and organizing two fundraisers for us and donating their time, talents, and cost of supplies all to us. It's just unbelievable to us how much people love us and support us. It means the world to us. I pray about this new child every day and just can't wait to meet him or her. My heart breaks when I think of how long this process could take, but everyone's encouragement and support helps so much!! It all brings us one step closer to our little one!!!

Also, super new -- Jaden successfully completed his Pastor Licensing interview yesterday! He is officially a Licensed Pastor now!!! He worked so hard for his and it's just super that he passed with flying colors! He and I are both excited that this process is over with (or at least resting for a bit) so that he can work on adoption paperwork and we can keep moving forward in the process!! Congrats, Dear! You ROCK! :)

A Day of Santa

Yesterday, we had a Santa day. All of the most fun activities in town -- all going on in one day! First, we went to Breakfast with Santa at the mall. Here, Drew asked for a PingPong Table. He must have heard daddy saying how much he wants one the day before! :) Funny. Santa loved Drew almost as much as Drew loves Santa, so he even sat down and ate his breakfast with Drew. Drew didn't eat a bite!! He just stared at the old man the whole time!! :)

Then, we went straight from there to a parking lot downtown where we waited and played in the snow for Santa and The Mrs. to arrive. Then, Santa walked us over to the Rivoli where we got to tell him what we want for Christmas once again... This time, it was a BIG jingle bell and a drum set. There we go!! That's more like it!! :)

Came home, did a little sledding (very little - wipe out first try) and the kids took a very, very quick nap. That night, Drew and I headed down to the Amtrack Station for some dancing, hot chocolate, and to board the Polar Express Bus (train was very delayed so we took 3 buses to the North Pole) to see Santa ONE MORE TIME. This time, he wanted a sled that wouldn't make him wipe out. Good choice! :) Drew fell asleep about 3 minutes before arriving home. We were ALL beat at the end of the day. What a day. We spent much time focusing on all the secular aspects of Christmas. Great. Today, we are off to church to teach him the real reason for the season, although yesterday was fun too. We all need to OD on Santa at least once during our life time, right?! :) Ha. Fun day I thought I'd share.

Christmas Shopping

Just did a little Christmas Window Shopping for myself. Here is my wish list...

 An ornament that, if I had to guess, I will also be wanting (even more) next Christmas as well. :)

I'm thinking I will buy myself this tshirt after our home study is completed. Pretty neat!

 I'm thinking this wall decal for baby's room. It would work well for a boy or a girl. Super cool.

And that's my post for tonight - very deep. A little online window shopping for myself. Now time to finish the list of things I need to actually shop for for the others on my list!!! 

Can You Not Have Any More Children?

I've been asked twice in the past two days if we are choosing to adopt because we can't have any more children? First of all, we ARE planning on having more children - just in a different way than our previous two children. This child is already in our hearts, just not 'in my belly.' :)

As many of you know, our previous two children were born with very serious health issues. Both of them were not genetic or anything, and chances of anything going wrong a third time would be very few, but we both just are a bit scared and not ready to have biological children again at this point. I'm not ready to make that decision permanent yet, but feeling like that is not what we are supposed to do right now.

We were really struggling with what to do because both of us always wanted 4 children and we were feeling 'ready' (if one ever really is ready) for another baby soon, but neither one of us were thrilled with the idea of going down the pregnancy, birth, and stress that comes with that process. Jaden went to a work conference and I was at home crying and praying because my heart was longing for another baby but I was feeling like it just isn't the right time. That next day, I saw the word 'adoption' many, many times throughout the day. Something inside of me felt it right away. That's what we were supposed to do. Then, Jaden comes home from the conference and was all nervous to tell me that he's been feeling this call to adopt a little black baby and it was totally confirmed at this conference. He was nervous to tell me because he thought I wouldn't understand... Ahhh, yep. I did understand. Two days later, I made an appointment with Lutheran Social Services and well, here we are!! :)

We really feel like adoption is the right choice for us right now. Not to say that the adoption process is easy or stress free (and it's only been a little over a month)!! But, boy - what a super opportunity it is to add a child to your family that will be able to provide a whole new energy around here! It will be wonderful to add the Ethiopian culture to our life and educate all of our children about their culture and heritage. I can't wait to love on this child and introduce him/her to all of you!!!

James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." We consider this being a commandment to us, from God. Adoption is NOT for everyone, and I don't think that is what this scripture is saying (since there are other ways to look after besides adoption). But, since we were both open to it, and then felt the weight on our hearts to follow through, I believe Jaden and I (and our family) ARE being called to adopt. Also, Ethiopia counts one of the largest populations of orphans in the world: 13% of children throughout the country are missing one or both parents. This represents an estimated 4.6 million children – 800,000 of whom were orphaned by HIV/AIDS. If I can offer just one of these children (although the thought of adopting a sibling group has crossed my mind...) a better chance of a life and a follower of Christ, it is a privilege!!

Anyway, though we had trouble conceiving Drew and were told we'd have troubles conceiving Carissa (though we didn't), I have not looked in to the Doctors thoughts on conceiving another biological child. But I can tell you that our next baby has already been 'conceived' in my heart with no trouble at all!

Chip In Site

Happy Thanksgiving (a Few Days Late)

Well, I was so ready to 'blog' on Thanksgiving, and well, I didn't. So, just pretend it's still Thursday. We had a great Thanksgiving. My mom came up and I made a huge feast on Thursday. The traditional Thanksgiving meal is my favorite -- so I go all out (though I recognize this is not the first time you've probably heard that from someone). :) Anyway, my mom stayed with us all the way until Sunday, so that was great to have some time with her and have her around to help occupy the kids for a bit.

I do have so much to be thankful for... First of all that I love Jesus and I know he loves me too! :) I have a wonderful, hard working and thoughtful husband who purposefully serves me and his children in a way most husbands don't. I have two amazing kids who I nearly lost, and mean the world to me that I get to stay home with during the day and kiss every ouchie, wipe every snotty nose, yell at during meltdowns, make meals for, etc. All of this keeps me thankful and happy!! I have what a lot of women dream of. For sure.

Yet, of course, I'm only human... I'm always thinking of how things could be better. We could have more in savings. I could go on a diet (and I mean a real one - and really try to stick to it). We could have this awesome train set under our tree that lights up and plays Christmas music (check-- thanks, grandma!). The $30,000 we need for this adoption could magically appear in our adoption account and we could proceed forward tomorrow. Yes, yes. We can always find things we want and would make our lives better. :( I must realize that everything comes with time. Carissa is only 1, so this money will come in His time, when he has us all prepped and ready for this new baby to enter our world.

I read a blog last night of a family who adopted a little boy from Ethiopia and, even though he was only maybe 7-8 months at the time, he would wake up crying some times at night and she'd hold him and he'd cry and it was all part of an adjustment and being removed from his home, his family, his country, his smells, his everything he'd ever known. I got teary eyed reading about it and thought about how I will handle this. And realized, if it came down to it, man, my heart would break. I'm sure I'd handle it just fine and I'd love him and hold him and, well, do my best! But it made me realize that God is totally preparing us. During this time of saving money/earning money for the adoption, He is working at us. Preparing us to grow by one who is already a part of our hearts and will soon be part of our home. Can't wait -- but I guess I can, and better get used to it! :)

Anyway, this season, I'm going to work on listening to Him, working with Him in preparation and doing my best to educate myself and brainstorm how I'll handle this, and put others first so I'm not so selfish in what I want or how things could be better. :)

That was a lot of randomness!!! :) Sorry.

Been a While

Hey all! It's been a while since I posted. Sorry about that. :)

Not much is new. I got a part time job (very part time - about 12 hours a week for now) to put 100% of my pay toward the adoption. I also babysit one afternoon every other week and that helps. New baby already has his/her own piggy bank (though it will be empty when baby arrives). :) It does just seem, though, like the money is slow to come right now. It's hard to come up with $30,000 as fast as you can. Even though every dollar counts, it's hard to believe that I'll ever see a number that big! :) But, it will happen and I'm SUPER excited for that day.

The out puring of love and support we've already gotten is amazing. I've started a Tastefully Simple Fundraiser and people are ordering. It's crazy to think that they are doing that on our behalf! :) Also, we don't have a 'fund' set up but we do have a 'chip in' site where you can donate money via pay pal. Or, feel free to send us a check. It will go right in new baby's piggy bank - and then make it's way in to our adoption account at the big bank. :) Anyway, along our last month and a half or so journey, we've come in contact with 4 other people who are currently in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. Also, we've come in to contact with 4 families who have already adopted from Ethiopia! That's amazing. That in it's self is so encouraging!

Anyway, planning our Thanksgiving meal and starting to get in to the Christmas mood as well. Very exciting this year with both kiddos! :)

Thanks everyone for your encouragement and support!

The Paper Pregnancy

So, they say adoption is a paper pregnancy. I think I agree. :) Two nights ago, we got our official letter of acceptance in to Holt's Ethiopia Adoption Program. We had already talked to the workers at Holt and be 'unofficially' accepted but this was our formal acceptance letter. Well, to me, that's like a positive pregnancy test. It's a yep - your in. :) What do you know, just like my previous two pregnancies, I spent the following day puking my brains out! Ha. I had the stomach flu (along with Drew). Blah. Anyway, I have also heard adoptive mom's sometimes gain weight (NOT this one!!!), experience the baby blues, etc. Too funny.

Anyway, our big endeavor right now is saving up for the home study. I had a job interview at Sylvan Learning Center for a tutoring position part time. I'll put all of the money from all of the pay checks in our adoption account and, as soon as we get all of the money for the home study, we'll be able to begin that process.

Also, today, I started organizing our first fundraiser. It will be a Tastefully Simple Party in January. But, the catalogue/online ordering will begin tomorrow (and run through January). I know I'll be ordering some Christmas gifts! Yumm!! Many of their products are very delicious.

I'll keep you all posted when I get more information on more fundraising efforts!

Family Weekend

Wow. Jaden had last week off and what a fun time we had! It was great having him around. Plus, Thursday - Sunday we went back to Milwaukee to visit family. It was great. Got to see a lot of our family and friends - some who we haven't seen in quite a while. So, it was super fun. Plus, we got to go to our old church and that was neat too - to see everyone there that we've missed quite a bit. And now we are home -- grocery shopping and cleaning day here!! :)

As far as the adoption goes -- we are now in the process of saving up the $2780.00 required for the home study. Once the home study is paid for and then completed, we can apply for grants and see what comes our way that way. Some friends have asked if we have a 'fund' for people to make donationsaveling our two trips to Ethiopia. I have been hesitant to start a 'fund' because they do charge a fee (a certain % of the total donations made) and I just feel like it may be easier for people just to send donations directly to us. If you feel moved to send any money at any time in this process, we will gladly accept it and promise to use it only for the adoption process - whatever step of the process we are at during the time you send it.

Thanks everyone. Keep praying for God's hand in this and the support we need to keep it up and get it moving!! :)

My Baby is One!

SO BIG!!

Today is Carissa's one year birthday! What a year it has been!! I'm so grateful she is here with us, as we thought for a while that she wouldn't be. She's such a gift to me. I just love watching her little personality grow and change. She is already a bit of a hand-full! I know people get sick of hearing me say how different she is from Drew, but it's true! And that's amazing! I love them both so much!! I'm so thankful for my 'two babies.'

Cake Face.

The Details

A lot of people have been asking questions about the process and cost that we will face on this journey. Here are some details...
THE PROCESS

• We have already filled out our application and paid the application fee to Lutheran Social Services in LaCrosse who will take care of our home study and the other domestic steps in the process.
• We have also already filled out our application and paid the application fee to Holt International who will take care of the Ethiopian part of the process.
• Receive approval of application from both Agencies - should be completed by Nov. 1st.
• Turn in signed paperwork.
• Complete home study (includes a series of home visits and interviews with a social worker to discuss our backgrounds, marriage, financial situation, reason for adopting, etc.).
• File with U.S. CIS (Citizen Immigration Services) for our child’s visa to enter the United States.
• Get fingerprinted by the FBI
• Assemble our dossier (an extensive set of documents required by the Ethiopian government for our adoption).  The following items must be included in our dossier:
• Application letter
• Certified copies of our birth certificates
• Certified copies or our marriage certificate
• Medical letters from our doctors following physical examinations
• Proof of medical and life insurance
• Personal financial information (tax documents, etc.)
• Employment verification letters
• Several letters of reference
• Police reports
• US passports
• Photos 
• 171-H approval (after our application is approved by USCIS)
• Have all dossier documents notarized, certified, and authenticated.
• Holt International sends our dossier to Ethiopia.
• Dossier presented to the Ministry of Women and Children’s Affairs (MOWA) in Ethiopia for approval.
• REFERRAL DAY – MOWA sends a child’s picture and medical report to us.
• We have the opportunity to accept or reject (which we don’t anticipate doing!) our referral.
• After accepting our referral, we travel to Ethiopia to attend the court hearing to grant us official guardianship of our child. This visit should be about 4 days.
• Approximately 8-10 weeks after the court hearing, we return to Ethiopia for the best part -- to bring our child home!!
• During our second (one week) trip to Ethiopia we will do the following:
• Receive our child either at our hotel or the orphanage
• Obtain a visa for our child and complete a few other paperwork items
• Fly home with our baby!!!

Wow! What a process that will be. Some people are asking how long we expect the process to last before we can pick up our child. Well, you always get to pay for the next step as you go. So, we have already paid the application fees. Once we have money to pay for our home study, we begin that step. Then, as that is being completed, we start saving for our Dossier. We pay for that, and then it's visas and background checks, etc. There is even a post-adoption fee to pay that we will have to save up for before we go so we can pay upon our return. Also, you have to factor in the wait list time. Right now, it is about 4 months from Ethiopia receiving the Dossier to the referral being made. Although, this changes frequently. Here is a breakdown of the steps/process...

       - Application Fees                                            $720.00

       - Home Study Fee                                            $2,780.00

       - Dossier Fee                                                     $3,000.00

       - Program Fee                                                    $10,890.00

       - Travel Fees                                                      $10,000.00 +

       - Document Process, visas, background 
         checks, etc.                                                      $1310.00 

       - Post Placement Fee                                       $1,300.00

Yikes! That's a lot - but we are confident The Lord will provide, in his timing. I just hope it goes relatively quickly! :)

Some people have asked about a fund to donate to. We are looking in to that. I'll keep you posted, as we would welcome donations for sure! 

First Step = Nearly Completed

Ok - I just applied at Holt International and taking our completed application and fee to the local adoption agency tomorrow!!!! Amazing! I was really stressed about the money aspect tonight. I just can't get a clear response from anyone as to how much, exactly, this will cost. But, ya know, when you are talking about THAT LARGE of an amount - a few thousand really doesn't make too much of a difference. Plus, the final outcome (YOUR CHILD) is truly priceless... Amen!! Anyway, after my frustration, I was looking at a blog of a family who adopted from Ethiopia some what recently and they had pics and video of their waiting process (their "paper pregnancy") and their "gotcha day" when they met their baby girl for the first time, and bringing her home... WOW. I can't even believe it. I encourage everyone to watch it. Amazing. It was total confirmation, to me, that we are in this. According to Proverbs 24:12, it's been placed on our hearts, we must now obey. So amazing. I feel privileged that God has called me/us/my family on this journey. :)

"If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay everyone according to what they have done?" Proverbs 24:12.

Where to Start

Today was a good day. Little Drew got to wear his Buzz Lightyear Costume to school (and the wings/rocket pack) and was in full "Buzz Mode" when I dropped him off. So cute and so much energy. We went and got him a kids' Bible the other day (the NIV version was getting a little intense for his 3 year old brain) and tonight, he said, "Mom, you need to read me my new Bible. I love my new Bible!" It was great. Such a sweet heart my boy has. I'm grateful for that.

On the adoption front... The first step is to pay the application fee to both the local agency and Holt International. We do have the money already to pay both of these fees, but we don't have the $26,000 left to get us through the rest of the process. The first $1000 is non-refundable... Do you see my hesitation here? But I can't help but feel that God put this baby (who I don't even know yet) on both of our hearts. Even if it takes 4 years to come up with the money, it's worth it. I remember trying to decide if we should have Carissa (#2) and someone said, might as well, you'll never say, 'That was dumb, shouldn't have had that one.' That's kinda how I'm feeling about this baby. I don't think I'll ever say, after 2 trips to Ethiopia and seeing the poverty and AIDS and orphans out there, never should have brought this baby in to our family. Yeah right. I CAN'T WAIT to meet this little one. I know we won't regret it. So, even though it's a lot of money, God will provide it - in His time - in His way. And that is exciting. So, I guess we do it. We put down the initial fees and, considering it's a 'pay-as-you-go' sort of process, we'll go as we can afford to pay. Trusting all the way.

We went to a fundraiser tonight at a restaurant in the area for another family that is adopting a baby from Florida. They have applied for lots of grants, and while it looked like some were going to work out, they've fallen through so they are trying to fund-raise a large chunk of the cost. It was super great to meet them. Their baby will be born at the end of November and you could see the eagerness in their faces. So neat. We are hoping to sit down with them next week sometime to discuss what has worked well for them as far as fundraising and what hasn't. They have a passion for sharing their process once it is complete, and I'm guessing that will be pretty helpful to us. And it's super to see another couple going down their own journey. Very neat. After all, it was their flyer for a different fundraising venture that was one of the first clues I saw that this was also what we were being asked to do. It was a privilege to go and support them tonight, even in just that little way.

Also had our church small group tonight. It was super. We are very blessed to have to have these people in our lives - especially right now. It's amazing the connection I feel to everyone in our group and I'm really grateful for that too.

Some Information on Ethiopia.

Here is some information I got off another website about Ethiopia...

Ethiopia is the oldest independent country in Africa, one of the oldest countries in the world (over 2,000 years), and the second-most populous country in sub-Saharan Africa. The three colors of its flag, adopted in the late 1800’s, have been copied so much by other countries that they have become known as the Pan-African colors. The coffee bean originated in Ethiopia. With its rich soil, Ethiopia continues to be the top coffee producing country in Africa. The country’s diverse terrain includes breathtaking waterfalls, some of the highest mountains in Africa (4,500 meters), and one of the hottest places on earth (Dallol).3,11 It also has the distinction of having the most UNESCO World Heritage Sites in Africa.3

The country is 1.1 million sq. km. (about twice the size of Texas, or the size of France and Spain combined), with a population of 88 million people1 and a life expectancy of 57.4 Nearly half of the population is under the age of 14, and less than 3% are over the age of 65.1 Although there are about 80 total ethnic groups in Ethiopia, 85% of the population is divided between 7 ethnic groups.1 61% of Ethiopians are Christian, and 33% are Muslim.1

Economics. The per-capita Gross National Income is $280/year13. The minimum wage is 8 birr/day (USD 60 cents).10Nearly 40% of the population is below the poverty line, living on less than $1.25/day.2 Agriculture accounts for 45% of the GDP13and 85% of employment.1

Civil war and political conditions have contributed to the economic conditions. Unique among African countries, the ancient Ethiopian monarchy maintained its freedom from colonial rule with the exception of a short-lived Italian occupation from 1936-41. In 1974, a military junta, the Derg, deposed Emperor Haile Selassie (who had ruled since 1930) and established a socialist state. Torn by bloody coups, uprisings, wide-scale drought, and massive refugee problems, the regime was finally toppled in 1991 by a coalition of rebel forces, the Ethiopian People's Revolutionary Democratic Front. A constitution was adopted in 1994, and Ethiopia's first multiparty elections were held in 1995.3

Despite the regime change, the state continues to own all of the land9;10: citizens may lease land, but may not sell or transfer it. State ownership of land is the primary impediment to larger, more efficient farming operations, and the main cause of poor cultivation practices and low productivity.

Poverty is compounded as the cycle continues: because families only lease a small amount of land, they cannot afford to do anything but farm it to its maximum capacity, without a break (lying fallow or crop rotation). Overfarming causes soil degradation, which reduces the production of fodder for livestock, which causes low milk yields and declining livestock populations, which leads to less fertilizer available for farming (manure is also burned as fuel), which contributes to lower crop production, which increases poverty, which leads to additional hunger, malnutrition, and disease, all of which further challenge individuals’ physical ability to farm, and pressures continuing overuse of the land.3,9

The absence of private property also stifles growth in non-ag (e.g. industry) sectors. The government has a monopoly on the telephone system, which remains substandard. There are fewer than 1 million landline phones and 3 million cell phones, which amounts to less than 1 phone for every 20 people.1 

Health. 94% of births do not have a skilled attendant present; 4% of women will die in childbirth.2 Although the infant mortality rate has improved over the past five years, it is still nearly 7%.2 Of the children who survive birth, another 4% will die before their 5th birthday.2 (The overall mortality rate 0(birth)- 5 years old is 11%.2,4) Over 60% of the population do not have access to safe drinking water4;11,13, and 90% do not have access to adequate sanitation facilities4. 2% of the population is infected with HIV.4 The doctor/population ratio is 1:42,000.8,12

Children. Child (5 - 14 years) labor is over 50%, as is child marriage.2 40% of children under 5 are moderately to severely underweight, and 50% are moderately to severely stunted.2 Only 45% of children attend primary school2, and nearly 60% of the population is illiterate.1 The primary reason children do not attend school in rural areas is the children are needed for farmwork (48% boys, 16% girls) and housework (53% girls, 16% boys).17

Orphans in Africa. UNICEF studies and related literature now use the term "orphan" to describe both "half orphans" (children who have lost one parent) and "double orphans" (children who have lost both parents). This can be somewhat misleading, as most people think of "orphans" as children who do not have a parent to care for them -- by UNICEF's definition, I was an orphan when I lost my father at a young age, but my mother certainly did not see me as such! 
By this broad definition, over 50 million children in sub-Saharan Africa are "orphans".15 This includes 7 million total orphans under the age of 5, and 1 million double orphans under the age of 5.15 90% of double orphans and single orphans who do not live with their surviving parent live with extended family (often siblings or grandparents).15 Children under the age of 5 are the most vulnerable. For example, children 0- 3 are four times more likely to die within a year (before/after) of their mother’s death.15Orphans in Ethiopia. There are 5 million orphans in Ethiopia2,14,18% of whom have lost at least one parent to AIDs. 34% of orphans have lost their mother, 52% have lost their father, and 14% (700,000) have lost both parents.15 Of the more than 13 million children in Ethiopia who are under age 52, 4% (over 500,000) have lost at least one parent.15 
80% of paternal orphans live with their surviving mother, and 68% of maternal orphans live with their surviving father.15 Orphans are significantly less likely to attend school than non-orphans, are significantly more likely to suffer abuse and exploitation, and are significantly more likely to “think that [their] life will be bad.”15 75% of children 10 - 14 who have lost both parents do not attend school.15 

Abandonment. Child abandonment is "disturbingly common" throughout Africa.18 While the reasons for abandonment vary, a large number are by unwed, often young, mothers. In Ethiopia, premarital pregnancies (sometimes the product of rape18) are not uncommon, yet children born out of wedlock are often rejected by their families and denied by their fathers. These children are considered "excess" - unwanted and unvalued - and are treated as inferior to legitimate children, receiving less food, less education, and more work.17

Orphanages. I have been unable to find reliable statistics on Ethiopian orphanages. "There is much that remains unknown about the number of children in residential care in sub-Saharan Africa because estimates are available for only a limited number of countries."15 Extrapolating from the orphan statistics that are available, however, I estimate that there are well over 10,000 children in Ethiopia under the age of 5 who are likely living in orphanages (or who would be but for international adoption):

If there are 500,000 orphans under 5, of which over 325,000 live with a surviving parent (34% are maternal orphans, of which 68% live with surviving father; 52% are paternal orphans, of which 80% live with surviving mother, and 14% are double orphans), there are 175,000 orphans who do not live wth a parent. If 90% of these orphans are cared for by extended family (consistent with sub-Saharan Africa statistics), there are 17,500 orphans whose living situations are unaccounted for. Even if 40% (?) of these orphans are cared for by non-relatives, at least 10,000 orphans under 5 are still unaccounted for and may be living in orphanages. This figure does not include the thousands of abandoned children living in orphanages. These numbers increase daily, as children continue to be orphaned and abandoned.

I am also unable to find statistics related to the long-term success of children who live for extended periods of time in orphanages in Ethiopia. Some information is available for Russia, however. Like Ethiopia, Russian orphanages "release" children by the time they are 16. With no family support or other resources, 40 percent become homeless, 20 percent become criminals and 10 percent commit suicide.16
International adoption in the U.S. has sharply declined in recent years, from its peak of almost 23,000 in 2004 to less than 13,000 in 2009.5 Compare to approximately 50,000 children/year adopted out of foster care6, and approximately 14,000 infants/year adopted privately7. Infants privately adopted in the U.S. are almost exclusively relinquished by unmarried white women.7 29% of the internationally-adopted children currently living in the U.S. have special needs, and one-third were adopted from China6, where families are limited by law to 1 child. 70% of children adopted internationally were previously living in institutional group homes (aka orphanages).6

In 2009, fewer than 2,500 children were adopted from Ethiopia.5