Tuesday, April 23, 2013

No News

I have no news of our own to share, but thought I'd share someone else's story that - well, is touching me (again) today...


Our Referral Story...

by Jen Hatmaker on November 10th, 2010


During the first week of October, I suffered inexplicable sadness for our Ethiopian kids, yet unknown to us. I couldn’t quit crying. I couldn’t stop worrying. I felt heavy and dark without knowing why. With tears burning at the slightest provocation, I threw my emotions into the Facebook ring for some backup. From adopting friends, a common thread rose up:

“God is prompting you to pray for your children for some reason. You don’t know them yet, but he knows they are yours. Intercede for them this week, then write these dates down. Once you receive your referral, check their paperwork and you might discover divine timing.” A slew of similar stories were posted.

So Brandon and I prayed desperately for our kids. Were they losing a parent? Were they suffering? Were they tender and lonely? Were they especially hopeless? Their need was unknown, but the ache was acute. So I cried the tears I just knew they were crying, and I begged Jesus to be so near, so gentle in their young, tragic lives while they waited for us, wishing a family wanted them but too afraid to hope.

Sensitive to their fragility, I spent that week checking (obsessing over) the Waiting Children’s List on our adoption agency’s website. I’ve been drawn to these kids since the beginning of our adoption journey. These children have not been requested or matched, unwanted even within the adoption community. Their crimes: 1.) Too old – meaning over five, 2.) too sick – HIV, TB, birth defects, or 3.) too many – siblings.

This very week a new little face hit the WCL: a darling, bright and shiny seven-year-old boy. I instantly loved his personality. He looked like Gavin in an African way. He seemed ornery, which I adore. So I pulled him up every day. Every day. Every day. I sent the link to Brandon. I sent the link to friends. I checked back in. I watched other WCL kids move from “available” to “file under review” while his smiling face remained “available.” On a Wednesday, I sent this to our family coordinator:


Hi Caitlin!

Sweet adorable Beniam is a healthy seven-year old on the WCL. He totally falls within our request range and since he's on there, I'm assuming there are no other requests for a seven-year-old boy. Would AWAA consider placing him with an unrelated younger girl and allowing us to consider them together?

We were exactly hoping for a seven-year-old boy and a younger girl. We would be so happy to apply for unrelated kiddos if this was a possibility.

Thoughts?

Jen Hatmaker


For a week, we emailed back and forth about unrelated kids (sweet, precious Caitlin – extra jewels in her crown for fielding my relentless emails). I cannot explain how drawn to Ben we were. Every time we looked at him, he became more beautiful, more precious, more Hatmaker-ish. Our social worker needed to approve us for an unrelated placement, as we were approved for siblings. That, friends, sounded like a formality, so we got our ducks in a row to speed that process up.

Exactly one week after that email, my phone rang the following Wednesday with that heart-attack-inducing-breath-stealing caller ID: “AWAA – Caitlin”. Adopting parents with submitted dossiers wait for that with such anxiety and anticipation, that should we be on a conference call with the President of the United States, we would scream in his ear, “I GOTTA GO!!!!!” and click over. Parents call their agencies ten billion times; they call us never, but when they do, this is what they say:

“Jen? It’s Caitlin. Sit down…this is your referral call.”

The world stopped spinning.

Time froze.

Nothing else existed.

“SHUT UP!!!” is how I responded as a mature, emotionally controlled girl. Our dossier was submitted 48 days ago; this referral was fast. I couldn’t think straight. The referral call includes sitting at your computer while your family coordinator introduces your child with the highly anticipated email file, including pictures.

I told Caitlin I’d call her back in ten minutes, because I needed to get Brandon home. Ring-ring:

“Are you stalking me? I just left! You know you can’t live without me.”

“Brandon, zip it! We. Just. Got. Our. Referral. Call.”

(Insert screeching brakes.)

We called Caitlin back and discovered our referral was one gorgeous, unbelievably perfect five-year-old girl. She was beautiful in every way. Brandon fell especially hard. With her little chicklet teeth and her shy smile, it seemed we might finally get a “gentle child,” which required adoption since our gene pool squashed that characteristic.

But besides “adopting” and “Ethiopia,” the other crystal clear detail was “two children.” Back in December when adopting from Ethiopia was imminent, Brandon kept bringing up two kids. Normally the bleeding heart, I was reluctant (could also be: defiant, obstinate, terrified) to consider two, knowing we are already a circus and doubting my ability to parent five kids. But Brandon couldn’t shake it, so we spent a week praying and fasting about one versus two.

On the final day of our fast, unknown to anyone but us, one of my dearest friends called: “Jen? I’ve been praying about your adoption. If this is irrelevant, just forget it, but every time I pray, I get the feeling you and Brandon are considering siblings…”

*Jen stops breathing*

“…I don’t know why I keep getting this message. But if you are, we’ve prayed about it, and we want to pay for the second child. Whatever the cost increase is for adopting two instead of one, we’ll cover the entire amount.”

*Jen bawls eyes out.*

God? We’re fasting to hear from you: One or two kids?

Insert: The Most Obvious Answer Ever Received In Our Lives.

Without question, we knew God had two kids for us, so this referral for just one was terribly confusing. We were starved for clarity, staring at each other like one of us had an explanation, the key to unlocking this baffling development. Our strategy has been, “Go back to what you know for sure. What was the last thing you heard?” The marching orders for two children was iron-clad, so I went three weeks back to those dark days full of prayer and sorrow. I confirmed the dates then searched this beautiful girl’s file:

It was the week she was brought to the orphanage.

Shipped twelve hours north of her village, her people, everything she knew to a crowded orphanage with children and workers who spoke a different language, it must’ve been devastating. She must’ve felt so alone. At age five. Except Jesus never leaves his little ones, his most vulnerable. He was there in the scary van ride north. He was there in her confusion and fear. He was there as she was assigned a bed and communal clothes and had her beautiful head shaved. He was there that first heart-breaking night. And he made sure we were there in spirit, too.

I am telling you, we felt her grief. We carried her turmoil. We cried her tears. Jesus made sure we sat watch with Him over her. He invited us into the vigil he was keeping on her behalf. Exactly three weeks after her first lonely night in the orphanage, we got her referral.

She was ours. We knew it.

She was the “younger unrelated girl” we asked for when pursuing Ben. It all locked into place. Within hours of the call, we asked for him too. For four agonizing days, we fought for his referral, this bright, shiny boy who’d seen hundreds of babies and toddlers come and go while he waited for someone to want him. For four days, we pleaded our case against staunch resistance. For four days, prayers and emails and calls flooded in, as our Christian community rallied for this unwanted, yet so wanted boy.

Enter The Great Silence, Compline, the prayer of completion. Every Sunday night at 9pm, the parents adopting through our agency join in prayer all over the world. We pray for our children, the nannies, our paperwork, referrals, court dates, traveling mercies, approvals, and grace. I told my adoption community: “Please pray for our expanded referral. We want this boy so desperately, but the forces against his placement seem insurmountable.”

We were hanging on by a thread. We knew God said adopt two children from Ethiopia. We knew he connected us in prayer to our daughter’s traumatic abandonment. We knew he imprinted Ben on our hearts already, before we even had a referral. We knew these two children belonged to us, but the approval looked hopeless.

From nearly every state and several other countries, we prayed at 9pm, the hour of The Great Silence. We interceded for each other and begged God to move for the orphan. We voiced our impossible circumstances and trusted him to work the common, everyday miracles that surround adoption. We acknowledged his sovereignty over bureaucracy, embassies, social workers, and poverty. We prayed for completion: Our children home. Hesitantly, timidly, I said, “I trust you, God.” At 9:27pm, our social worker sent this:

“I am going to approve this referral.”

No words can describe the rejoicing in our house, and certainly in the heavens. Another orphan found his home, despite the odds, regardless of “the rules.” Yet again, God moved mountains for the very least; the most unwanted, unloved kids on earth. The day our Ethiopian children were born, the angels celebrated their immense value, the image of God they each bear. Their tragic circumstances didn’t lessen their worth but raised them to the highest level of divine attention:

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.
I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
God sets the lonely in families.
Blessed are you who are poor, for your is the kingdom of God.
Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death.

We’ve been invited into a beautiful story, involving hundreds of saints in prayer for the redemption of two abandoned treasures. God captured an entire community with love for two children whose names were headed into the oblivion of poverty and despair. As selfish plans fail daily, and greedy dreams burn out as God removes his hand from endeavors we are using his name to endorse, Jesus gently placed two African orphans in the center of a faith community, restoring their names from a statistic back to the loved, precious, essential children they are.

I want you to know their names.

Our Beniam is seven, and we’ll call him Ben; the son we fought for. Our daughter’s name is Matawi, which means “Remembrance.” We will call her Remy, because she was never forgotten; not by her Creator, not by her Savior, and not by us. God walked with our children through every sorrow; their plight was ever before him. Though family and village and country and government and even the whole world turned from their distress, abdicating responsibility and ignoring their cries, God never forgot, never slept, never stopped working until his children were restored.

He remembered them.

For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones. But Zion said, “The LORD has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.” Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.

See, I will beckon to the nations, I will lift up my banner to the peoples; they will bring your sons in their arms and carry your daughters on their hips. Kings will be your foster fathers, and their queens your nursing mothers. They will bow down before you with their faces to the ground; they will lick the dust at your feet. Then you will know that I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.

Can plunder be taken from warriors, or captives be rescued from the fierce? But this is what the LORD says: “Yes, captives will be taken from warriors, and plunder retrieved from the fierce; I will contend with those who contend with you, and your children I will save.”

~Isaiah 49

Monday, April 22, 2013

We are SO Close!

Just got word that 2 weeks ago our agency matched a family with a child that turned in their paperwork May 2nd. We turned in our paper work on May 6th. That means we are SO CLOSE! I've decided not to clean my kid's bedrooms until we get our referral (since there will be lots of switching and reorganizing depending on if new baby is a boy or girl anyway) - so my whole family agrees - time for the referral! Their rooms are a MESS! ;)

April Update


Hello Family & Friends,                                                                                                          4/8/13

As of April 6th, we have been on the waitlist for 23 months! If my numbers and process of elimination serves me correct, we are about #3-4 on the waitlist as of today. We were also emailed an update from our agency today stating that they got lots (I can’t really give the specific number) of children released to them recently. I am certainly hoping and praying that our next child is within that group. I am hoping that we will receive our referral within the next month. I am thinking that I am being realistic with hope.

That’s all the good news I have for you though. I do have some not-so-good news. Recently, Ethiopia changed their court procedures. It is meant to make the process more transparent and prevent any unethical activity, so I get it, but it’s still not easy to hear. It used to be that, once you received your referral, you would travel to Ethiopia for the 1st time just 3-4 weeks later and go to court. Now, there are a number of steps that need to be completed before your court date and so that process is now estimated to take 3-4 MONTHS. ;( So, if we get our referral in late April/early May, we would probably make our first trip to meet our child in July or August and then bring him/her home in Sept. or October. Ugh. One step forward and two steps back. The thing that makes me the most sad about this is not another few months before we get baby home, but rather another few months that our baby will be living in an orphanage. But, God’s mighty hand is on this, and for that, I really can’t let it get me too down.

As far as finances, I am totally BLOWN AWAY by people supporting us in this process. We have recently received a few donations to our Lifesong for Orphans account that have put us much further ahead in terms of finances. We are so grateful and have spent lots of time lately talking about (and crying about) what a blessing that is to us on this journey. Now we are just saving up for our travel expenses. The estimated total travel expenses (according to our adoption agency) is $5000-$8000 per trip. So, we are needing to get that money together pretty soon. Lots of friends and family have been asking how they can help recently, as everyone is aware we are getting closer!! We do have a few fundraisers that are on-going…

FUNDRAISERS
Ordinary Hero: This is a non-profit organization that does mission trips and promotes orphan awareness. They have some awesome products for sale and we receive 40% of items purchased online. Check them out! They have lots of products for both men and women (some adoption-themed, some not).
Just Love Coffee: $5.00 to us for each bag of coffee sold www.justlovecoffee.com/TheThomas. The coffee is DELICIOUS!!
Adoption Bug T-Shirt Fundraiser: You can order t-shirts from this site: www.adoptionbug.com/thomasadoption. You can order and pay on-line and the t-shirt(s) will be shipped directly to you. We make anywhere from $5-$10 (depending on the t-shirt) per shirt sold toward our adoption. Check it out! They have some cool, high-quality shirts for sale!
TAX DEDUCTABLE GIVING: Lifesong for Orphans: Make a tax deductable donation. They will accept donations in our name up until we travel to bring home our child. Make checks payable to ‘Lifesong for Orphans’. In memo section: ‘THOMAS #1855 ADOPTION’. Send to Lifesong for Orphans  PO Box 40  Gridley, IL  61744.

PRAYER REQUESTS
-          First and foremost for our future baby – who is probably born by now. For his or her health and development in these first few months of life.

-          For our future baby’s biological parent(s). In some way and for some reason, this baby will have to be relinquished for adoption. That has got to be THE most difficult and selfless decision someone can make. We ask for prayers for their hearts.

-          Finances to continue to come through and successful fundraisers.

-          Patience and faith for both of us in this process.

-          Jaden working on recording his first album (all proceeds earned to go toward the adoption). Stay tuned for details!!! It should be available for purchase in MAY!!! Yayyyy Jaden! I gotta say, I’ve gotten a sneak preview and – my husband rocks – for real!! ;)

Thank you all so much! We are very blessed by each of you!

The Thomas Family

Step
Cost
Date Paid
Due Date
Application Fee – LSS
$420.00
10/25/10

Application Fee – Holt
$300.00
10/27/10

Home Study Fee – LSS
$2,780.00
1/14/11

USCIS
$890.00
2/2/11

Program Fee – LSS
$1750.00
5/20/11

Dossier Fee – Holt
$3,000.00
5/6/11

Dossier Update Fee – Holt
$255.00
6/28/12

Program Fee – Holt
$9,890.00
Ready
Upon Referral (have $6,000 in Show Hope Grant for this).
Post Placement Fee – LSS
$1,300.00
Ready
Upon Referral
Trip 1 to Ethiopia
$7,000.00 (estimated)
NEED
Upon Scheduled Travel Date
Have $3920.00 saved for this.
Trip 2 to Ethiopia
$7,000.00 (estimated)
NEED
Upon Scheduled Travel Date

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Babysitting and Bawling

Yes, I'm babysitting, but that has nothing to do with that post - just a catchy title to get your attention -- and it worked!

But I am bawling right now. I just requested an update from Lifesong for Orphans - an organization we have an account with that accepts tax-deductible donations to our adoption account on our behalf. Someone that we hardly know donated a very large amount of money to our account.

This person, clearly did this because of their love for orphans. They do not know us much - so it's not because they did it because they know us and love us deeply, but clearly, they want to see an orphan be adopted and brought in to a loving family. They know this costs a lot of money and so they want to help.

Not everyone is called to adopt a child, but everyone is called to help the orphans and widows - or the least of these.

I'm blown away and completely humbled and blessed by this large donation, and when I look at the total amount that has been donated to Lifesong on our behalf - both the big and small financial contributions - I am even more amazed. Thank you to each of you who has purchased something from our fundraisers, had a Pampered Chef Show, donated to us or to Lifesong for us, prayed for us or for our next child - for everything. We are SO incredibly grateful.

Thank you.