Today, something rare happened... My 5 year old was watching a movie quietly downstairs and my little 3 year old fell asleep in my arms. I had a half hour of total quiet. I used the time to focus on praying for my children. I prayed for both of my current children and then it hit me - in a way it never has before - my third child could, more than likely, already be born... I don't know what he/she is experiencing during these early days/months of his/her life.
Here I was- holding my little girl in my arms praying thankfulness that my little miracle baby survived her first few days of life before we even knew that she was terribly sick or just how sick she was. I was praying for her current days - thanking God for her strong will (yes, this is something I am (sometimes) thankful for), her smarts, and her encouraging nature. And also praying for her future - her heart, her health, her marriage... All the while I am rubbing her back and looking at her scar and my mind immediately goes to baby 3. Where are you? Who is loving you? Where do you sleep? Who holds you? Who comes to you when you cry out at night? What scars are you coming to us with? Oh baby, I can't wait to be your mommy and to give you so much love.
Being a parent is such a gift --- sooo much work -- but such an awesome gift. Baby #3 will be such a HUGE gift to me, but it saddens my heart so to know that it is tearing another mommy's heart apart. And it saddens my heart to think of babies and older children who are parentless - who seriously have no one to rub their back, rock them in the middle of the night (these days 4 times a night), pray for them endlessly... I can't wait to bring baby #3 home. I will come to you, baby mine. Soon.
John 14:18 "No, I will not abandon you as orphans--I will come to you."
