The Details

A lot of people have been asking questions about the process and cost that we will face on this journey. Here are some details...
THE PROCESS

• We have already filled out our application and paid the application fee to Lutheran Social Services in LaCrosse who will take care of our home study and the other domestic steps in the process.
• We have also already filled out our application and paid the application fee to Holt International who will take care of the Ethiopian part of the process.
• Receive approval of application from both Agencies - should be completed by Nov. 1st.
• Turn in signed paperwork.
• Complete home study (includes a series of home visits and interviews with a social worker to discuss our backgrounds, marriage, financial situation, reason for adopting, etc.).
• File with U.S. CIS (Citizen Immigration Services) for our child’s visa to enter the United States.
• Get fingerprinted by the FBI
• Assemble our dossier (an extensive set of documents required by the Ethiopian government for our adoption).  The following items must be included in our dossier:
• Application letter
• Certified copies of our birth certificates
• Certified copies or our marriage certificate
• Medical letters from our doctors following physical examinations
• Proof of medical and life insurance
• Personal financial information (tax documents, etc.)
• Employment verification letters
• Several letters of reference
• Police reports
• US passports
• Photos 
• 171-H approval (after our application is approved by USCIS)
• Have all dossier documents notarized, certified, and authenticated.
• Holt International sends our dossier to Ethiopia.
• Dossier presented to the Ministry of Women and Children’s Affairs (MOWA) in Ethiopia for approval.
• REFERRAL DAY – MOWA sends a child’s picture and medical report to us.
• We have the opportunity to accept or reject (which we don’t anticipate doing!) our referral.
• After accepting our referral, we travel to Ethiopia to attend the court hearing to grant us official guardianship of our child. This visit should be about 4 days.
• Approximately 8-10 weeks after the court hearing, we return to Ethiopia for the best part -- to bring our child home!!
• During our second (one week) trip to Ethiopia we will do the following:
• Receive our child either at our hotel or the orphanage
• Obtain a visa for our child and complete a few other paperwork items
• Fly home with our baby!!!

Wow! What a process that will be. Some people are asking how long we expect the process to last before we can pick up our child. Well, you always get to pay for the next step as you go. So, we have already paid the application fees. Once we have money to pay for our home study, we begin that step. Then, as that is being completed, we start saving for our Dossier. We pay for that, and then it's visas and background checks, etc. There is even a post-adoption fee to pay that we will have to save up for before we go so we can pay upon our return. Also, you have to factor in the wait list time. Right now, it is about 4 months from Ethiopia receiving the Dossier to the referral being made. Although, this changes frequently. Here is a breakdown of the steps/process...

       - Application Fees                                            $720.00

       - Home Study Fee                                            $2,780.00

       - Dossier Fee                                                     $3,000.00

       - Program Fee                                                    $10,890.00

       - Travel Fees                                                      $10,000.00 +

       - Document Process, visas, background 
         checks, etc.                                                      $1310.00 

       - Post Placement Fee                                       $1,300.00

Yikes! That's a lot - but we are confident The Lord will provide, in his timing. I just hope it goes relatively quickly! :)

Some people have asked about a fund to donate to. We are looking in to that. I'll keep you posted, as we would welcome donations for sure! 

First Step = Nearly Completed

Ok - I just applied at Holt International and taking our completed application and fee to the local adoption agency tomorrow!!!! Amazing! I was really stressed about the money aspect tonight. I just can't get a clear response from anyone as to how much, exactly, this will cost. But, ya know, when you are talking about THAT LARGE of an amount - a few thousand really doesn't make too much of a difference. Plus, the final outcome (YOUR CHILD) is truly priceless... Amen!! Anyway, after my frustration, I was looking at a blog of a family who adopted from Ethiopia some what recently and they had pics and video of their waiting process (their "paper pregnancy") and their "gotcha day" when they met their baby girl for the first time, and bringing her home... WOW. I can't even believe it. I encourage everyone to watch it. Amazing. It was total confirmation, to me, that we are in this. According to Proverbs 24:12, it's been placed on our hearts, we must now obey. So amazing. I feel privileged that God has called me/us/my family on this journey. :)

"If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay everyone according to what they have done?" Proverbs 24:12.

Where to Start

Today was a good day. Little Drew got to wear his Buzz Lightyear Costume to school (and the wings/rocket pack) and was in full "Buzz Mode" when I dropped him off. So cute and so much energy. We went and got him a kids' Bible the other day (the NIV version was getting a little intense for his 3 year old brain) and tonight, he said, "Mom, you need to read me my new Bible. I love my new Bible!" It was great. Such a sweet heart my boy has. I'm grateful for that.

On the adoption front... The first step is to pay the application fee to both the local agency and Holt International. We do have the money already to pay both of these fees, but we don't have the $26,000 left to get us through the rest of the process. The first $1000 is non-refundable... Do you see my hesitation here? But I can't help but feel that God put this baby (who I don't even know yet) on both of our hearts. Even if it takes 4 years to come up with the money, it's worth it. I remember trying to decide if we should have Carissa (#2) and someone said, might as well, you'll never say, 'That was dumb, shouldn't have had that one.' That's kinda how I'm feeling about this baby. I don't think I'll ever say, after 2 trips to Ethiopia and seeing the poverty and AIDS and orphans out there, never should have brought this baby in to our family. Yeah right. I CAN'T WAIT to meet this little one. I know we won't regret it. So, even though it's a lot of money, God will provide it - in His time - in His way. And that is exciting. So, I guess we do it. We put down the initial fees and, considering it's a 'pay-as-you-go' sort of process, we'll go as we can afford to pay. Trusting all the way.

We went to a fundraiser tonight at a restaurant in the area for another family that is adopting a baby from Florida. They have applied for lots of grants, and while it looked like some were going to work out, they've fallen through so they are trying to fund-raise a large chunk of the cost. It was super great to meet them. Their baby will be born at the end of November and you could see the eagerness in their faces. So neat. We are hoping to sit down with them next week sometime to discuss what has worked well for them as far as fundraising and what hasn't. They have a passion for sharing their process once it is complete, and I'm guessing that will be pretty helpful to us. And it's super to see another couple going down their own journey. Very neat. After all, it was their flyer for a different fundraising venture that was one of the first clues I saw that this was also what we were being asked to do. It was a privilege to go and support them tonight, even in just that little way.

Also had our church small group tonight. It was super. We are very blessed to have to have these people in our lives - especially right now. It's amazing the connection I feel to everyone in our group and I'm really grateful for that too.

Some Information on Ethiopia.

Here is some information I got off another website about Ethiopia...

Ethiopia is the oldest independent country in Africa, one of the oldest countries in the world (over 2,000 years), and the second-most populous country in sub-Saharan Africa. The three colors of its flag, adopted in the late 1800’s, have been copied so much by other countries that they have become known as the Pan-African colors. The coffee bean originated in Ethiopia. With its rich soil, Ethiopia continues to be the top coffee producing country in Africa. The country’s diverse terrain includes breathtaking waterfalls, some of the highest mountains in Africa (4,500 meters), and one of the hottest places on earth (Dallol).3,11 It also has the distinction of having the most UNESCO World Heritage Sites in Africa.3

The country is 1.1 million sq. km. (about twice the size of Texas, or the size of France and Spain combined), with a population of 88 million people1 and a life expectancy of 57.4 Nearly half of the population is under the age of 14, and less than 3% are over the age of 65.1 Although there are about 80 total ethnic groups in Ethiopia, 85% of the population is divided between 7 ethnic groups.1 61% of Ethiopians are Christian, and 33% are Muslim.1

Economics. The per-capita Gross National Income is $280/year13. The minimum wage is 8 birr/day (USD 60 cents).10Nearly 40% of the population is below the poverty line, living on less than $1.25/day.2 Agriculture accounts for 45% of the GDP13and 85% of employment.1

Civil war and political conditions have contributed to the economic conditions. Unique among African countries, the ancient Ethiopian monarchy maintained its freedom from colonial rule with the exception of a short-lived Italian occupation from 1936-41. In 1974, a military junta, the Derg, deposed Emperor Haile Selassie (who had ruled since 1930) and established a socialist state. Torn by bloody coups, uprisings, wide-scale drought, and massive refugee problems, the regime was finally toppled in 1991 by a coalition of rebel forces, the Ethiopian People's Revolutionary Democratic Front. A constitution was adopted in 1994, and Ethiopia's first multiparty elections were held in 1995.3

Despite the regime change, the state continues to own all of the land9;10: citizens may lease land, but may not sell or transfer it. State ownership of land is the primary impediment to larger, more efficient farming operations, and the main cause of poor cultivation practices and low productivity.

Poverty is compounded as the cycle continues: because families only lease a small amount of land, they cannot afford to do anything but farm it to its maximum capacity, without a break (lying fallow or crop rotation). Overfarming causes soil degradation, which reduces the production of fodder for livestock, which causes low milk yields and declining livestock populations, which leads to less fertilizer available for farming (manure is also burned as fuel), which contributes to lower crop production, which increases poverty, which leads to additional hunger, malnutrition, and disease, all of which further challenge individuals’ physical ability to farm, and pressures continuing overuse of the land.3,9

The absence of private property also stifles growth in non-ag (e.g. industry) sectors. The government has a monopoly on the telephone system, which remains substandard. There are fewer than 1 million landline phones and 3 million cell phones, which amounts to less than 1 phone for every 20 people.1 

Health. 94% of births do not have a skilled attendant present; 4% of women will die in childbirth.2 Although the infant mortality rate has improved over the past five years, it is still nearly 7%.2 Of the children who survive birth, another 4% will die before their 5th birthday.2 (The overall mortality rate 0(birth)- 5 years old is 11%.2,4) Over 60% of the population do not have access to safe drinking water4;11,13, and 90% do not have access to adequate sanitation facilities4. 2% of the population is infected with HIV.4 The doctor/population ratio is 1:42,000.8,12

Children. Child (5 - 14 years) labor is over 50%, as is child marriage.2 40% of children under 5 are moderately to severely underweight, and 50% are moderately to severely stunted.2 Only 45% of children attend primary school2, and nearly 60% of the population is illiterate.1 The primary reason children do not attend school in rural areas is the children are needed for farmwork (48% boys, 16% girls) and housework (53% girls, 16% boys).17

Orphans in Africa. UNICEF studies and related literature now use the term "orphan" to describe both "half orphans" (children who have lost one parent) and "double orphans" (children who have lost both parents). This can be somewhat misleading, as most people think of "orphans" as children who do not have a parent to care for them -- by UNICEF's definition, I was an orphan when I lost my father at a young age, but my mother certainly did not see me as such! 
By this broad definition, over 50 million children in sub-Saharan Africa are "orphans".15 This includes 7 million total orphans under the age of 5, and 1 million double orphans under the age of 5.15 90% of double orphans and single orphans who do not live with their surviving parent live with extended family (often siblings or grandparents).15 Children under the age of 5 are the most vulnerable. For example, children 0- 3 are four times more likely to die within a year (before/after) of their mother’s death.15Orphans in Ethiopia. There are 5 million orphans in Ethiopia2,14,18% of whom have lost at least one parent to AIDs. 34% of orphans have lost their mother, 52% have lost their father, and 14% (700,000) have lost both parents.15 Of the more than 13 million children in Ethiopia who are under age 52, 4% (over 500,000) have lost at least one parent.15 
80% of paternal orphans live with their surviving mother, and 68% of maternal orphans live with their surviving father.15 Orphans are significantly less likely to attend school than non-orphans, are significantly more likely to suffer abuse and exploitation, and are significantly more likely to “think that [their] life will be bad.”15 75% of children 10 - 14 who have lost both parents do not attend school.15 

Abandonment. Child abandonment is "disturbingly common" throughout Africa.18 While the reasons for abandonment vary, a large number are by unwed, often young, mothers. In Ethiopia, premarital pregnancies (sometimes the product of rape18) are not uncommon, yet children born out of wedlock are often rejected by their families and denied by their fathers. These children are considered "excess" - unwanted and unvalued - and are treated as inferior to legitimate children, receiving less food, less education, and more work.17

Orphanages. I have been unable to find reliable statistics on Ethiopian orphanages. "There is much that remains unknown about the number of children in residential care in sub-Saharan Africa because estimates are available for only a limited number of countries."15 Extrapolating from the orphan statistics that are available, however, I estimate that there are well over 10,000 children in Ethiopia under the age of 5 who are likely living in orphanages (or who would be but for international adoption):

If there are 500,000 orphans under 5, of which over 325,000 live with a surviving parent (34% are maternal orphans, of which 68% live with surviving father; 52% are paternal orphans, of which 80% live with surviving mother, and 14% are double orphans), there are 175,000 orphans who do not live wth a parent. If 90% of these orphans are cared for by extended family (consistent with sub-Saharan Africa statistics), there are 17,500 orphans whose living situations are unaccounted for. Even if 40% (?) of these orphans are cared for by non-relatives, at least 10,000 orphans under 5 are still unaccounted for and may be living in orphanages. This figure does not include the thousands of abandoned children living in orphanages. These numbers increase daily, as children continue to be orphaned and abandoned.

I am also unable to find statistics related to the long-term success of children who live for extended periods of time in orphanages in Ethiopia. Some information is available for Russia, however. Like Ethiopia, Russian orphanages "release" children by the time they are 16. With no family support or other resources, 40 percent become homeless, 20 percent become criminals and 10 percent commit suicide.16
International adoption in the U.S. has sharply declined in recent years, from its peak of almost 23,000 in 2004 to less than 13,000 in 2009.5 Compare to approximately 50,000 children/year adopted out of foster care6, and approximately 14,000 infants/year adopted privately7. Infants privately adopted in the U.S. are almost exclusively relinquished by unmarried white women.7 29% of the internationally-adopted children currently living in the U.S. have special needs, and one-third were adopted from China6, where families are limited by law to 1 child. 70% of children adopted internationally were previously living in institutional group homes (aka orphanages).6

In 2009, fewer than 2,500 children were adopted from Ethiopia.5

Begin Here

  I must admit, I don't really know what I'm doing on here. I guess there is 'so much to say' lately that I've decided to start a blog so others can follow along a bit. We have some big news to report and it's a long story... So bear with me here...
  As some of you know, both of our children were born with very serious health issues. Our son, Drew (now 3 and 1/2) was born not breathing and lifeless. When they resuscitated him, they discovered he had ingested meconium. Drew spent 5 days in the NICU but was a little trooper. He has had some developmental delays that we have worked diligently with him to over-come to the best of his ability. Our little Carissa who is about to turn 1 year old in just 9 days seemed to be fine -- until the doctors discovered, just 5 minutes before we were about to take her home, a rare but very serious aortic coarctation. She was helicoptered over to Children's Hospital for heart surgery on day 4 of her life. Thankfully, she was here to stay and we brought our little girl home just a few weeks later.
  Well, recently, I started doing something I swore a year ago I would NEVER do. I started developing baby fever. Jaden and I talked about having another one a few times recently and, although I'd love to have another one, the fear in both of us from the previous two has really prevented us from feeling ready.
  Early October, Jaden was gone for a week in Atlanta at a work conference. During this week, I was really thinking hard and praying about what God's plan was for us as far as another child. Should we try now, knowing it may take a while? Should we even be considering another one? I kept thinking about it lots while he was gone. The day after he returned, I went to a near by used clothing store for kids. While standing in line, they had the Coulee Parenting Magazine and I saw a story on adoption in it. Being adopted myself, these things catch my eye pretty quickly. I grabbed the magazine and, as I was walking out the door, I noticed a flyer about a local family having a benefit to fundraise for a baby adoption. I thought it was pretty neat and said a little prayer for them when I got in my car.
  That evening, I was sitting down reading the adoption article and Jaden suggested we go for a walk. As we were walking he told me he got very little done on his work 'to-do' list that day. I asked him what the heck he did all day (being the supportive and passive wife that I am) and he said he did not want to tell me. Hmmm... Finally, he busted out with it... At the conference he was at - one of the topics addressed was adoption. Jaden was feeling this same pull toward adoption that I was. It was crazy!!! But, like all things God smacks me in the face with, I had to take time to digest it and be sure God was smacking me (ouch, yep, that was Him)!
  That next day, I just felt a real excitement and confidence. I started looking up adoption programs and feeling like God was really leading us out-of-country for this. Ethiopia kept coming up as a true option and so my heart was set. We are adopting a little child from Ethiopia!!!
  Yesterday, we had a meeting with Lutheran Social Services to discuss the process. I can't explain how exciting that meeting was. Overwhelming, but exciting! As many of you are probably guessing, an adoption from Ethiopia is NOT cheap. You are correct -- somewhere to the tune of $27,000 not cheap! We have NO CLUE how we are going to gather the money necessary to adopt a child of our own, but we do know that we've seen God do some pretty awesome and powerful things recently. It's funny, I texted a friend of mine that cost the other day and said, "Do you know anyone who has $27,000?" She texted back just what I was thinking, "God does." She is very right. He does and I know that where there is His will, there is a way. So, we'll do what we can and wait. Though I'm sure we will need much prayer and encouragement along the way!