Be Still...

  "He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”  - Psalm 46:10

I thought I got this scripture before... See, if you know me, you know I have a real problem "being still." I sleep through 99% of the movies and tv shows I attempt to watch because I'm not doing something and am forced to be still. I am one of those crazy people that enjoy cleaning - because it involves little to no being still. I get this about myself and I've come to terms with it. ;) 

The "know that I am God" part never really hit me like the way it has in the past 2 weeks. It started the day after we accepted our referral of our little girl. My son was sick and I was up all night with him. I had to miss a work meeting that morning and I called my boss and she prayed with me. Part of her prayer for me was to "be still and know that you are God." Well, He heard her!! I had a ton of forms to get filled out and notarized for the adoption and I had to take both of my kiddos with me to run all of these errands (my son was done puking by this time, at least but being the super mom that I am, I brought a bucket with me just incase -- I know - thoughtful). First stop - police station. I went to turn in forms requesting a notarized statement that neither Jaden nor I have criminal convictions in Oconomowoc. The worker told me it would be 3-5 business days before they had this information for me... First I was angry and began to ramble off all kinds of totally accurate information about how quickly other police stations have gotten us this information in the past, how totally unreasonable of a time frame that is considering the population of Oconomowoc... Then I started crying, showing her a picture of our daughter and begging her to "rush" it (which she did -- thank you police woman!!!). We got out to the car and my kids began asking why I was crying... What kind of faith-filled mother am I displaying to my kids? Crying in the police parking lot? Suddenly, I heard "know that I am God." See who is God to me at this moment? Was I allowing Him to be who He is? He is, after all, my mediator, my comforter, my refuge. By getting my undies all in a bundle over some paperwork taking longer than I had hoped, was I putting my faith and trust in Him and all that He IS?

Next stop, doctors office. That went smooth. Thank you, Lord. ;)

Next stop, Jaden's work. Traffic jam. What? traffic jam at 1:00 in the afternoon? Yep, but maybe meant just for me. Suddenly, I heard again (both the kids were sleeping -- allowing me to hear ANYTHING), "Be still and know that I am God." I was still. Stopped in traffic still. Know that I AM God. Just wenn I was starting to count down the months before I will get to meet our daughter. Just when I was thinking of how old I will be when baby #3 comes, how old my bio-kids will be, how old she will be when I meet her - the pain started creeping in and suddenly - again - I was thinking of who God is to me... My rock, my truth, my refiner. 

See - I can continue in my business (and I more than likely will) but I better sit my rear down sometimes (even if I am stuck in traffic and FORCED to be still) so I am able to hear what my mediator, comforter, refuge, rock, truth, refiner, redeemer, father, God is telling me. And I better rest in who He is. I don't "got this" but He does "got this." I can't hold my daughter and keep her healthy and strong for the next several months, He can. I haven't made all the money for this adoption just magically appear in our adoption account - but He has. 

So, thank you to my boss for praying that prayer for me. I have way more examples than this from the past few weeks that serve as even more proof to me that God wants me to settle in for the next few months and get to KNOW Him during this tumultuous wait. This is part of my journey, my family's journey, my new daughter's journey. I will always be able to tell her what got me through this wait! Only God.